Counselling for Children

Often, the behaviour a child shows at school can look quite different from what’s seen at home. A lot of children, especially when still young, have not yet developed the language to be able to voice and put words to their emotions to tell us specifically what’s wrong. Part of my role is to help your child begin to understand their emotions — to recognise what they’re experiencing, make sense of it and find ways to express it more clearly.

Children are naturally resilient, but sometimes they need space with someone outside the family who can offer a different way of engaging, reacting and thinking. It’s not just about listening to words; it’s also about noticing body language, reactions and the subtle shifts that reveal how a child is really feeling. This kind of understanding often happens best in a one-to-one therapeutic environment.

My counselling approach is a mix of Psychodynamic and Systemic, meaning I consider what may be happening unconsciously for the child, the parents and the wider family, while also looking at the patterns and interactions between them. When behaviour feels confusing or hard to make sense of, it’s often because unconscious defences are at play. I’m particularly interested in generational family patterns — the way we parent is often the way we were parented, without realising it. Sometimes it takes someone outside the family to gently notice these patterns and help you explore what might bring more balance and harmony at home.

Working with Children (Ages 10–14)

I begin by meeting with parents to understand the child’s background and early experiences. I then hold six sessions with the child before reviewing progress together with the parents. From there, we decide whether to continue child sessions or whether parental work might be more helpful.

Children of this age often find it daunting to simply sit and talk, so sessions are led by what helps them feel most comfortable. I have a selection of creative and therapeutic resources — from crafts and drawing materials to games that bridge the gap between childhood play and adult conversation. Sometimes we sit on the sofa; other times we might be on the floor — the process is always guided by what feels right for your child. Much of the work at this age happens through how they play, react and engage rather than through what they say in words.

Working with Adolescents (14+)

With adolescents, parental involvement is agreed on a case-by-case basis depending on what feels most beneficial. Teenagers are usually more ready and able to engage in talking therapy, but to ease those first-session nerves I may also make use of games that bridge the gap between childhood play and adult conversation when appropriate.

Sometimes, especially when eye contact feels uncomfortable or too intense, we might take the therapy outdoors for a walk. Walking side by side can make it easier to talk — the movement and fresh air can help young people feel more at ease and able to open up at their own pace.

My aim is to create a space where young people can simply be themselves. No single approach works for everyone — it’s about finding what best supports your child so they can develop their own way of managing what feels difficult.

Parental Support

I offer parental review sessions as often as needed, and at least every 6–10 sessions. These meetings provide space to talk about what you’re noticing at home, explore what might lie beneath your child’s behaviour, and think together about new ways of supporting them emotionally.

Being a parent can stir up all kinds of feelings — pride, love, frustration, guilt, worry, even helplessness at times. It can also bring echoes of how we were parented ourselves, which can quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) shape how we respond to our own children. When your child is struggling, it can leave you wondering what’s really going on and how best to help. Sometimes, it’s not about doing more, but about pausing to reflect and think things through with someone outside the situation.

These conversations can also help clarify where the focus is most needed right now. It may be that parents need time together for support through some parent sessions, or that one parent would benefit from one-to-one counselling to explore their own experiences and reactions. At other times, the focus might need to widen to include the whole family — or certain relationships within it — to better understand how everyone is connected in what’s happening.

A family is a bit like an old-fashioned clock — with each member of the family representing a cog, all carefully connected to one another. When one cog slips off track, the whole clock stops working as it should. In the same way, when one member of the family system is under strain, everyone can feel the impact — which in turn can affect each individual’s behaviour.

Family work can be a really helpful next step, offering space for everyone to be heard and understood.